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It has happened. You and the one you planned to spend the rest of your life with are no more. The questions of “why” fly through your head and you are at a loss for answers. Deep down in your heart you love them and want them back. Taking the wrong approach to get your partner back can be costly. This article is going to show you what to avoid when you attempt to make up with your loved one.

Your first reaction might be to “smother” your partner with your emotions. You and your loved one need extra space and personal time to deal with the break up. Keep your contact to the basics to start out. Let them know you are thinking about them - maybe a short phone call or a text message is a good start. Over-obsessing could come across to your loved one as a sign of desperation. You want to portray yourself as independent, confident and having good self esteem.

Fault in a break up usually involves both people in the relationship. Avoid placing blame on your partner for what has happened. If it cannot be proven that they are totally the reason for the breakup, you better look into yourself and accept responsibility for your part in the breakup. Willing to accept your mistakes and even more importantly, their mistakes, will say a lot to your partner. Remember it takes two to tango.

You want them back right now - but you have to avoid rushing in to get everything straightened out. What you thought was forever has just been crushed - both of you need time and space to get over what has just happened. Accept right now that getting back together is going to take time. Anything “worth it” is worth waiting for. Jumping in and trying to get it all back will not give the both of you time to truly work through the issues at hand.

Making up with your loved one needs to be paced and well planned out. You need to know the right steps to win them back. Jumping in and trying to “kick start” the passion is not going to lead to a lasting relationship. More resources to win them back and keep them can be found below.